Amit’s e-world

A lot is mentioned about the need to build & manage relationships at work in order to be effective. More so, in an Asian context, where work groups and social groups tend to intermingle. Relationship building definitely has its own unique benefits especially in getting a colleague to do something for you at a ‘personal’ level even if it means bypassing the accepted way of getting things done at the workplace. It also alerts you to opportunities and threats that may benefit or impact you in the future through your confidants. In a client-supplier relationship, it becomes even more critical to have a relationship as the obligation to exchange information is far lesser in such an context, however the need to collaborate is high.

However, how much do you actually care about the cost of forming a relationship. Is it better off to follow a ‘transactional’ approach rather than one that centres on relationship? Can you communicate tough news if you are into a strong and positive relationship? Do you mind giving away a few of your less critical needs in return for having support for your most prized ones? If these questions lead you to ponder, you may be in the same dilemma, I am. Is building a relationship at the workplace worth its true cost?
Like all other million-dollar questions that may be floating around the world, the answer to this one as well is "IT DEPENDS!!!" Of course, next logical follow-up to this would be "on what". Let me use a structured approach to arrive at a reasonable answer.

Breaking the relationship ‘myth’: So you have always believed that loyalty pays. Fair enough… every position / stand can be supported by evidence & facts, especially when the news-spreader is a rich corporate who wants you to believe something that is in his interest. Let me attempt to challenge your values and beliefs with an analogy. In the UK, there are mortgage advisors who help their clients through the housing loan tenure. One of the biggest savings they make for their clients is by encouraging them to remortgage to the cheapest available mortgage in the market, every two years. At least, this is one area where loyalty does not pay. And there is a good reason for that. Remember, the marketing matrix. When you are a new customer with high future potential business, incentives are doled out for you to come on board. Once you are locked in, theory suggests that you should be milked for more revenues. Once you are completely secured & unable to exit with ease, you must be fed with high-vale high-margin stuff, to make up for the all the invested goodwill that you accrued over the past. If you conduct a closed-door survey of Tesco’s suppliers, they would perhaps empathise with this position as well.

When does it suffocate you: The fact that people are different has been the top learning for quite a few of us in the MBA. Some are low-maintenance i.e. not too cranky, not too unapproachable, not too difficult to talk to, not someone who would put you in a tight spot too often. Others are high-maintenance i.e. irritable, egoistic, pessimists, unapproachable, etc. Forging a relationship with someone of type L-M is quite easy. To be honest, even not forming a relationship with them would be ok. They will be more than happy to work with you on a transactional basis. The latter types are tough nuts to crack. You want to be in their good books, but it’s so easy to get in their bad books. We have always believed (and is probably true) that it takes many more days to build a relationship & one error to break it. With the H-M category of people, you will always be averse to making that one error, else it spoils all the hard work. This would mean that you give in to a lot more of their demands that get more in your favour. And, it is still likely, despite all your precautions, that given their inborne ability to climb the ‘ladder of inference’, they might misread one of your ‘harmless’ gestures into something conniving. Having been through this exercise before, I can personally endorse that it is quite painful & frustrating.

How to get around it: A million dollar question, ain’t it? Here’s my analysis on a two-by-two.

Of course, life’s not so simple to have just a two dimensional representation. But, pointers are always helpful.